One of the first things I wish to tackle is the misconception that the U. S. Coast Guard is not part of the military.
Coast Guard spouses often hear "You're husband/wife is not in the military" when they mention what their spouse does. Worse is when they are told "At least your spouse gets to come home every night," or "At least you know they are safe and not in danger". Over time you get used to hearing it from the civilian community because they just don't know...they see the Coast Guard involved with humanitarian missions (Hurricane Katrina, the earthquakes in Haiti and the Gulf oil spill), they know the Coast Guard is who you call if you are out on the water and run into trouble, but what troubles me is when Coast Guard spouses hear this from members (and spouses) of the other services. I guess I just assume that they know this. This reminds me that no one should ever assume anything, and at best should use it as a teaching moment.
So, for those that wonder...the U. S. Coast Guard began as the Revenue Cutter Service, which was founded by Alexander Hamilton on August 4, 1790. This will make the Coast Guard 221 years old this summer. If you want the official U. S. code that declares it part of the armed forces, you only need look at Title 14 where it states: The Coast Guard as established January 28, 1915, shall be a military service and a branch of the armed forces of the United States at all times. On October 15th, President Obama reiterated this code when he signed into law the Coast Guard Authorization Act of 2010 and said: “This Act strengthens the Coast Guard as a military service and branch of the Armed Forces….”.
Now, that should clear up the legal aspects of it. But what about the other questions? Because missions are often away from home, (and many involve our various seagoing vessels), most often CG members do not get to go home every night. Depending on the unit they are at, they may be gone from a couple of days to upwards of a year. And if you are thinking that they are safe wherever they may be...have you been on a ship in rough seas or tracking down drug runners? How about in a C130 or helicopter during a storm? Perhaps you think they are safe if they are at one of our small surf stations? Again, just look at the missions that the CG performs: Port, waterway and coastal security, drug interdiction, aids to navigation, search and rescue, marine safety, defense readiness, migrant interdiction, marine environmental protection, and ice operations. Many of these require our CG members to work in hostile environments both here and abroad (I'm sure those that have been on a ship in the Bering Sea, or in the air flying during a storm would consider it a hostile condition), risking their lives to save others.
So, that is the overview, non-personal approach to our military lifestyle, but I'll add my personal touch to it. I'm not an expert, but I do know what types of units my husband has been assigned to. In the past 28 years, he has been assigned to ships of various sizes and land units. This means that he wasn't home every night, in fact there were many nights that he was off doing what he needed to do while I stayed home, making sure the bills were paid, taking care of the house, making sure the kids were taken care of and all roles both as mother and father were covered. This was all done with only my fellow CG spouses around for support, as the closest I ever was to family was 2 1/2 hours away during one tour and only three tours were near a military base. Those times he was away from home ranged from as little as a week to as much as 6 months. I will say that because of the dynamics of the missions, I preferred the tours that involved his being gone some where in the middle of those parameters. This was only because the length was usually pretty consistent, with very few deviations. I could plan things around it! The shorter tours were impossible to plan around as you never knew when they would leave or when they would return as it all depended on circumstances often beyond anyone's control. Focus for me was always on the future homecoming. What special occasions would we make up for (we once celebrated Christmas in January), what things did I want to share with him, what accomplishments the children were waiting to tell him about.
We also move often...for us, we have moved, on average, every 2 - 3 years. My kids, like many military children cannot claim any one place as home, they are not close to other family members, as they have never lived close enough to develop that type of relationship. They have however, learned how to adapt. They have learned of places, the culture, how people think in various parts of the U.S. While they don’t have the same experiences as children of the other services who live all over the world, they at least get a taste of what their fellow military children experience. They learn to appreciate where they are.
So, although we are not part of the DOD and often are forgotten or not viewed as MILITARY spouses, we do experience some of the same frustrations (especially when our spouses are gone or we are transferring to a new duty station). Hopefully with this posting, my future blogs will be taken, as they are, from a comrade in arms.
